On Saturday I spent 7 hours in A&E, with my son.
A&E is Accident & Emergency. In 7 hours, you watch firsthand, the impact of both ill-health and injury, you witness a full range of emotions, and you hear the stories.
It's a melting pot, and there are no secrets.
The People
Like the elderly gentleman who had been brought in by a good Samaritan who just happened to be walking by when he was bitten by a dog. He was in his eighties but could not remember his exact age when asked, and had been bitten badly.
He clearly lived alone but didn't want to admit it. He also didn't know 100% where he was. I heard the doctor ask him "What institution are you in? A bank, hospital, a university"? He wasn't sure.
The youngish thirty-something sitting opposite me who had 2 herniated discs in his lower back resulting in severe back pain.
Sighing and grimacing at every move, and barely able to move. There is little, painkillers can do from my understanding, as the bulge from the disk pushes directly against the nerve. He could only sit up straight and would vomit from the pain now and then.
My son, a healthy happy teenager who that morning early I had taken to a rugby game. He had big plans with mates for the day. He had gotten himself injured, it was just the way he got tackled, one of hundreds of tackles that day, now sitting in a sling, shivering, unable to move his upper body, and in pain.
There were more, the middle-aged couple who didn't know each other, and yet started talking, and bonded over of all things, fishing. She spoke about how her dad had taught her to fish, and he about the times he spent fishing with his brother. There was a love story brewing I thought, through the beep of machines attached to both them and the odd grimace of pain and discomfort when they made each other laugh, and then laugh about that, and grimace more.
The young couple who just looked devastated, and judging by the urgency of the doctors dealing with them, something serious was wrong. Life had clearly thrown its first curve ball.
My son will be fine. I am not sure about all the others.
Priority
While it was 7 hours of the day, resulting in a missed catch-up with close friends, my priorities adjusted, as I think they would for any parent. It also opened my eyes,
I think we often forget when our health is good, just how lucky we are, or is it just luck?
I would have swapped places with my son in a heartbeat, he is young and has his life to live, I have lived much of mine, you just want it to be undone, to walk out and pretend it never happened. For me, he was my priority.
At the same time shielding them from some of the gory detail and reassuring them that they will be fine when you are worried. They are adults, and yet children at the same time.
It is easy to get frustrated with the time it takes, the fact that while your loved one is your priority, they are one of many priorities for the doctors on the day, and others may actually be a higher priority.
Dare I say it, if you feel you are entitled, this is definitely not the place for you. A&E is a great leveller.
Attitude
I wasn't perfect in there, I asked a lot of questions, and I am sure took up time, but only to try and understand the detail of the injury and timelines to treatment, the second was often out of their control due to the availability of specialists.
But I always did so with a smile, respectfully, and tried to be a minimal pain in the ass, but you do want what is best for the person you are there with, and to push for that, but then again, so does everyone else.
Gratitude
I had forgotten how life's mishaps, or maybe the cards you get dealt in life, can change our life journey, sometimes in an instant, sometimes permanently.
Going from happy and healthy, to fear, worry, uncertainty, and definitely discomfort, sometimes in a short, sometimes a longer timeframe.
I admit the waiting and time became frustrating, but watching those doctors and nurses and the goings-on in there you realise how hard they work and in a complex environment.
The Medical Staff
The doctor who managed our case during the day I could see when we started was fresh, motivated, and had a big warm smile.
By the end, I could see the fatigue in her face and the smile was long gone.
I have no idea what else she had seen or managed during the day coming in via ambulances and the like. But thank you. Thank you to the staff and team at North Shore Hospital A&E. You make a difference. You are thorough. You care, and while it may take some time in there, watching on, I can see you are doing your best, and with a smile.
Complacency
It also made me think about how complacent we can get.
It made me think of a quote I once heard:
"There but for the grace of God go I"
How we often take things for granted, like waking up and walking to get a coffee with a friend, or even just being able to work on a Monday morning.
Fighting over a piece of tar on a road we don't own, stressing about whether another driver pushed in front of us, and the need to show them what an idiot they are, and set them right, pails into stupidity with the people and the challenges I witnessed in A&E.
I think any of those people would let 10 cars push in front of them if they could have avoided being there.
Complacency is the enemy
It also made me think about my own health, how best I can look after myself, stay healthy, avoid bad foods, and doing stupid $hit.
In short, how do I start the day being grateful, and how can I prevent the preventable through the actions and choices I make on a daily basis, like:
- Does my nutrition promote or prevent my physical health?
- If I can exercise, why wouldn't I?
- Do I fully appreciate the importance of my health, both tomorrow and in ten years?
- I might think I am in charge but at best I am an influencer. As an influencer, how can I avoid a future visit to A&E?
- Always to be kind, nice and respectful. Try not to be a dick.
You never know when you might be on the other side of the proverbial fence. You never know what others might be going through.
I however know, I want to avoid going to A&E for as long as I can. Don't we all.